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By Elizabeth Vaughan | August 21, 2008
A good friend of mine who knows what a writing geek I am alerted me to the delightful blogs The “Blog” of “Unnecessary” Quotation Marks and Apostrophe Abuse. With wit and humor, these blogs use photos of signs and printed materials that the bloggers and their readers have encountered in daily life to point out the frightening phenomenon of quotation marks and apostrophes running wild. Here are a few favorites:
One reader belongs to a mothers’ group that printed up badges reading: St. Paul’s Mom’s At Home. Alert readers will notice that the apostrophe in “mom’s” indicates either something belonging to mom or a contraction meaning “mom is.” I’m sure St. Paul will be relieved to know that his mom is safe at home.
Another reader spotted a sign at a concession stand that read: “Special” ribs & 1/4 chicken $13. Awesome real “cornbread” $2. I don’t know about you, but I’d be suspicious about eating “special” ribs. And if the cornbread is real, why the scare quotes? Perhaps “cornbread” is code for something else in this community.
A sign at the Hyatt in Cincinnati reads: “Emergency” Use Stairs. This suggests to me that you can use the stairs for whatever you personally define as an emergency, even if that’s just a broken fingernail.
Finally, this sign spotted in Newport, Rhode Island combines the rampant quotation mark with the feral apostrophe: “No Dog’s”. Ouch.
To review:
Use quotation marks only for quoted matter. Quotation marks are also sometimes used to indicate the writer’s disagreement with the term (I got a taste of my insurance company’s “customer service” when they left me on hold for 45 minutes), but this kind of sly sarcasm is best avoided in formal writing.
Quotation marks are not used for emphasis.
Use the apostrophe to form possessives (I borrowed Andy’s car to go to the store.) or contractions of “[subject] is” (Mary’s not home; may I take a message?).
The apostrophe is not used to form plurals.
If you knew these rules already, congratulations! You’re already way ahead of many sign writers. Be sure to send any egregious and entertaining examples of quotation mark and apostrophe abuse that you encounter to these great blogs so we can all enjoy them.
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